It is a fact: every year my kids get a year older. Every year I have to hold a birthday party. Every year I need to think out of the box and create a wonderful, better than the rest, over the top birthday celebration that will make my kids jump for joy and happy to have such a creative mommy. This year because I am movng right around my girls’ birthdays (they were born four days apart, two years difference so I combine their parties—yes, I it is ok! Until they start to complain of course….) I suggested we just go to grandma’s for a small family gathering. Mya, who will be turning eight, flatly refused. “But what about all of my friends?” I immediately, sourly, thought, what about them? At that moment I despised the whole birthday thing. I know birthdays are a year apart but they just seem to annoyingly creep up so fast. Sigh. Am I turning into a curmudgeon? I think between work, move, kids, single momdom I am just tired, and the thought of entertaining 10 kids makes me want to take a nap. But I looked at Mya in the eyes with the most sincere look I could muster up and smiled and said, “don’t worry sweetie, mommy will throw you a party with your friends.”
I had a friend say to me recently—after he didn’t put much thought into his daughter’s 13th birthday (major milestone I think)—that our kids will never remember their birthdays anyway. “I don’t remember any of mine,” he said. “They are an insignificant blip in time and they mean nothing in the broad scheme of things.”
I thought on that statement for a long time. Could he be right? Do we overdo our kids’ birthday celebrations? Are we just being sucked into the vortex of our want, need, and incredible ability to devour commercialism and so we feel obligated to pamper and shower our kids with gifts and fun to celebrate the day they popped into this world? Wait a minute, maybe I should be celebrating the fact that I made it through nine months and pushed beyond unbearable pain three times on their birthdays. Perhaps my kids should be throwing a party for me?? Okay, not fair I know. But he does have a point. I started to think how I could make my kids’ birthdays a “significant blip.” Actually take the concept of birthday celebration to another level where my kids are appreciating their lives, rather than commercializing their lives. Maybe I can make their birthdays mean a lot in the “broad scheme of things?”
And I think many a mom and dad are starting to think along the same lines. Mya and Brooke have gone to many birthday parties where in lieu of gifts they are asked to bring money to donate to a charity of the child’s choice. The kids are learning something about life that they can take with them into adulthood and better yet be able to apply—hopefully.
So this year, my kids are going to have their party with their friends (bowling) but they are also going to learn the beauty of charity–helping others when you can. They will also experience the limitations of happiness associated with commercialism by experiencing the happiness in giving and helping others.
In this, I feel a renewed energy and desire to throw that birthday party. And I am looking forward to many years of birthdays to come.
